A week ago, someone really hurt me. I think what they did hurt me so much because it was the last thing I expected. We had made an agreement and this person bailed out at the last minute, LITERALLY. I was shocked! Stunned!!! I felt disrespected, I felt hurt and I was really confused. These emotions came afterwards though. In the moment I just brushed it off.
Over the last few weeks I have come to realize that when I get angry with my kids it is because I had higher expectations of them. Say my 5-year-old eats and makes a mess, I get angry but with my 3-year-old I don’t. Why? It is simply because I do not expect a 5-year-old to make a mess while eating but I think a 3-year-old is still learning and I am more tolerant. So when this person hurt me last week it was the same thing. I expected them to do better and when they didn’t I was caught off guard and it hurt me.
Anyway, so here I was, it had happened and now what? My first reaction was I will have nothing to do with them anymore. What was the point? Were they worth my time? I played the scenario over and over in my mind. I wondered how could it have been avoided? I bought myself and feasted on some ice-cream (this is my usual custom when I feel stressed). After a few days I purposed to let it go, forgive and speak to the person at a later date when I was completely over it.
Now when I think about the incident, I feel a bit sad but the pain is gone (thank God). What brings me sadness is I feel the relationship got injured in a way that it might not fully recover (hopefully not).
Anyway, forgiveness is not easy but my lesson this week was when you have been hurt, allow yourself to grieve and then forgive as you heal. Show the other person grace too because we are all human beings, fallen creatures and we are bound to hurt one another.